I have a friend who loves a boy, I call him a boy because he can't act like a man. He is her past, but she can't seem to move past him. He clings to her feet like quicksand, and instead of moving forward in her life she just stays. I look in her eyes and I don't believe she still loves him the way she use to, she is just too afraid to find out what more life has to offer her . I want to tell her that life has so many twists and turns and the key to it all is to enjoy the journey and not stop at the first seemingly green pasture she comes to. Child after child she bears for him, for all the wrong reasons, every time she tells herself she would go back to school and get a degree, but he always seems to find a way to change her mind, or if she does start attending he gets her to quit somehow. So she remains stuck, and no matter how many times anyone tries to tell her how much more she can do with her life, she remains. I sometimes visit her, but I don't mention what could have been, that would be too cruel, because we both know that she will never leave and I cannot bear to see her eyes light up with hope and then darken in despair two seconds later.
I have tried. I have told her countless times how I walked away from a fully paid for Condo, just me and an infant, so that I would never wonder what could have been. I have told her how many times I have had to start all over, just so I would never wonder what could have been. I have taken every opportunity that has come my way, I have been hungry, and homeless. I have been pushed around and abused. I know her despair all too well. I told her all she needs is the strength to want a change in her life and I will be there for her. But she stays. So no I don't mention what could have been anymore. Instead when I do have time to write I make her my main character, and in my writings she is a famous artist, a dancer, a teacher, a singer. Sometimes she is a doctor, and other times a lawyer. I write her aspirations and dreams and hope one day it inspires her to move beyond the What Could Have Been, and motivates her to live up to whatever she wants to be.
I remember us children acting out stories we wrote under the familiar shade of the Mango tree. I remember us children running barefoot down to el malecon to watch the ships come into the harbor. I remember us children dancing Salsa, Bachata and Merengue to the beat of my grandfather's cowbell. I remember us children facing our fears and chasing our dreams. I remember all this as I look over at her across her kitchen table and wonder What Could Have Been.
I have tried. I have told her countless times how I walked away from a fully paid for Condo, just me and an infant, so that I would never wonder what could have been. I have told her how many times I have had to start all over, just so I would never wonder what could have been. I have taken every opportunity that has come my way, I have been hungry, and homeless. I have been pushed around and abused. I know her despair all too well. I told her all she needs is the strength to want a change in her life and I will be there for her. But she stays. So no I don't mention what could have been anymore. Instead when I do have time to write I make her my main character, and in my writings she is a famous artist, a dancer, a teacher, a singer. Sometimes she is a doctor, and other times a lawyer. I write her aspirations and dreams and hope one day it inspires her to move beyond the What Could Have Been, and motivates her to live up to whatever she wants to be.
I remember us children acting out stories we wrote under the familiar shade of the Mango tree. I remember us children running barefoot down to el malecon to watch the ships come into the harbor. I remember us children dancing Salsa, Bachata and Merengue to the beat of my grandfather's cowbell. I remember us children facing our fears and chasing our dreams. I remember all this as I look over at her across her kitchen table and wonder What Could Have Been.
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